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On the one hand, they broke up some time ago, so you don’t feel that guilty. But on the other, you’re trembling with fear of confrontation with your friend as you believe you’ve broken a sort of a moral code.
Before you decide to have sex with your friend’s ex, you have to consider a few things to avoid a catastrophe. Prioritize your real needs and put yourself in their shoes. Maybe it’s possible to have your cake and eat it, and you’ll have great sex without losing a friend.
1. Is Your Friend Over It?
Some people on the surface don’t show that they’re broken-hearted, but inside they still can’t recover from the breakup. If it turns out that your friend still sheds tears over their lost love, consider if you want to hurt their feelings. Even if you feel uncomfortable with admitting that your friend’s ex is on your radar, an honest conversation will help you know where you stand.
Sometimes it’s safer to check yourself. Essentially, they’re your friend, and you care about their feelings; that’s why the circumstances are so complicated. If you talk the situation through and find that your friend doesn’t feel comfortable with this information, consider if it’s worth their pain. Instead of a hook-up with your friend’s ex, it’s better to have fun with a sex doll that wouldn’t make a drama.
2. Did You Talk About It?
It’s a cliche, but because it’s a cliche, it’s often forgotten – Before you take any action, talk to your friend and ask how they feel about it. Always be honest and tell them that you’re struggling with your feelings. Don’t do that in a roundabout way – be straightforward. This conversation might not be easy as you don’t know their reaction, but you’re guaranteed that the response would be worse if your friend got to know after you two made out.
Observe their reaction. There’s a probability that your friend wouldn’t tell you, but you’ll see in their eyes that you’ve just crossed the line. Tell them that you expect an honest answer and respect what they tell you. Remember that prevention is better than cure, so don’t act impulsively before that conversation.
3. What Are You Afraid Of?
Ask yourself a question about why you’re afraid of sleeping with your friend’s ex. What makes you feel bad about it. If you think that you’re going against your principles, it might be a sign that you shouldn’t sleep with them.
If it were a less emotional state of affairs, probably you would just tell your friend about how things are, and it wouldn’t be a problem for anyone. You know your friend, and you’re aware of their potential reaction to this situation. So listen to your intuition and think if you’re really doing something that bad before you make a decision.
4. When Did Their Relationship End?
Time heals wounds. If they broke up a while ago, and the topic of their ex doesn’t randomly pop up during your casual conversations, the chances of not jeopardizing your friendship are higher. There’s a significant difference between sleeping with an ex they dated in high-school and a person they were dating a couple of months ago.
What’s more, take into account the time their relationship lasted. If it was a long-term relationship, and your friend and a partner were living with each other, maybe you should reconsider your decision once again. But if your friend calls them an “ex,” but the “relationship” lasted no longer than a few weeks, things might look much different.
5. Are You Ready to Endanger Your Friendship?
Think if it’s worth it. Do you really want to fall out with your best friend? Of course, circumstances can vary, but you have to be prepared for the worst. There’s a probability that once your friend gets the information that you want to have sex with their ex or, what’s worse, already did it, you might not be on the best terms.
Analyze your feelings and think about what’s your priority. If you want to be sure that your friend won’t distance themselves after you do it – don’t endanger the relationship with your friend if it is valuable to you. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?
The Bottom Line
It can happen to anyone to have feelings for someone that maybe shouldn’t be your crush. Don’t blame yourself because you want to sleep with your friend’s ex; however, don’t act impulsively. Analyze each aspect of this situation. Consider if a one-night-stand or even a few nights of pleasure are worth hurting your friend’s feelings.
It’s not a given that your friend will feel broken-hearted once you tell them about it. However, never act before you talk it through. People are different, and your friend might react unpredictably. Maybe there’s no reason to be apprehensive, and it will turn out that your friend will laugh about it and give you the green light!